


Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, and Me

by KitIsGr8



Category: My Brother My Brother and Me (Podcast), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family Bonding, Mostly JJBA oriented, No Spoilers, Perspective is the camera, Set in Modern Times, TV Show, basically mbmbam with jojo characters, but the characters are not from modern times, just like the McElroys, the jojo's start a podcast and got a tv show based off of it, the timelines wonky don't think about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21996706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitIsGr8/pseuds/KitIsGr8
Summary: Everyone likes the McElroys and their content, but what if we use the concept and applied it to a wilder family tree? In a place where every main character from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure was pulled out of their part before the climax, the family decides to start a advice show for the modern era, and somehow they got a contract to film a television show! This is the first episode of JoJo, Jojo, and Me: The Tv Show!
Comments: 14
Kudos: 67





	Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, and Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was sitting in my google docs for about a year so keep in mind that this isn't my most recent and best work so the quality might take a hit for it. Originally I had plans to write 8 more chapters (one for each Jojo) but I remembered this took me forever to finish because I didn't feel passionate about this work. I hope someone else who equally adores this idea writes another fic about this (and if you do, comment it because I'd kudos the SHIT out of it), since it's a lovely idea, I just don't want to make something I don't like making. I hope you enjoy!

The scene lands on 3 muscular men, standing near a curved wooden desk, talking to each other. Jonathan Joestar is gesturing wildly, clearly enthusiastic about the topic he’s discussing with Joseph Joestar and Jotaro Kujo. Jonathan occasionally bumps into his sword, luck and pluck, and checks to make sure he didn’t damage anything. Joseph is gesturing as wildly as Jonathan, doing a playful gesture every once in a while. Sometimes his striped scarf gets in his way, and Joseph has to slap it out of his way so that he can gesture better. Jotaro, on the other hand, has one hand in the pocket of his gakuran, and another on his hat. Whenever he hears something that he deems disagreeable with, he would adjust his hat so that his eyes are obscured, and mutter something.

“Yes, I agree that your poses are fun to do Joseph, but they aren’t as hard to do as mine.” Jonathan says.

“What, you only got, like, three poses in your Part. And come on, who says that this pose isn’t the greatest!” Joseph states, as he grabs clackers off the desk and strikes a pose.

“That pose is good,” Jonathan admits. “What about you Jotaro, do you have any thoughts about the pose?” 

“Everyone knows that Part 3s poses are the best to do,” Jotaro simply said as he bumps his hat back to where it normally sit. As Jotaro was lowering his hand, he looks up, and stops, eyes growing wide in surprise. “Jonathan. Joseph.” Jotaro hissed.

“What, what’s wrong?” Jonathan says, as Joseph gets into a more natural stance. Jotaro nods forward, and the other two follows his gaze. Then they widen their eyes as well.

“Oh shit,” Joseph mutters.

In an instant, the three start to scramble to their seats, Jonathan being more hasty, Joseph being more extravagant, and Jotaro being more snappy. Joseph leans back in his chair, hands behind his head, and Jotaro puts his feet on the desk. Jonathan motions for Jotaro to get his feet of the table, and slams Joseph’s front chair legs down, making all four legs sit perfectly even on the ground.

“I know I wasn’t there for your adolescence, but at least have some manners you two,” Jonathan mutters. “Anyway, welcome viewers to Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, and me the television show, or as I like to call it-” 

“Yare yare daze, do we need to start our first television episode with this bit?” Jotaro interrupts, as he pulls his hat down. 

“Of course it is Jotaro, it’s a tradition at this point,” Joseph pipes up. “Ignore him Jonathan, he’s just being Jotaro.”

Jonathan clears his throat, while Jotaro huffs. “Like I was going to say, welcome to My grandson, my great great grandson, my great grandson, my half son, my great great great granddaughter, my alternate self, my alternate self’s half great great grandson, and me.”

“Ah yes, MGMGGGMGGMHSMGGGGMASMASHGGGAM, the best podcast and tv show to ever tamper with the time space continuum, AND to own the best acronym.” Joseph said with a chuckle.

“And there goes everyone who doesn’t listen to Jojosam,” Jotaro said.

“Oh hush Jotaro. Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, Jojo, and me, or Jojo’s and me for short, is an advice show with relatives coming together to answer your questions.” Jonathan adjusts his blue shirt.

“We use relatives loosely.” Jotaro says as he picks up a mug from the desk and takes a sip.

“Of course, how else do we justify letting alternate selves on the show since they have our birthmark? Saying that they can do wild poses liKE THIS?!” Joseph strikes another pose. “Boom, another great pose from the Part that has the best poses.” 

“I don’t remember that being in diamond is unbreakable,” Josuke shouts from off screen.

“Oh you didn’t Josuke!” Joseph yells, as he hops over the table. The viewpoint shifts with Joseph, following his pathway to Josuke. 

“I don’t know, what did I do?” Josuke said, as an exaggerated look of innocence sets on his face.

“You know what you freaking did, take it back!” Joseph gets Josuke into a headlock, bringing his fist to Josuke’s pompadour. 

“Wait no, don’t touch my hair, do you know how long it takes to make it look like this?!” Josuke slaps Joseph’s hand away, and shields his pompadour with his hands.

“Joseph, come on this isn’t professional,” Jonathan sighs, approaching the two. “Let go of Josuke and let’s get back to the episode.”

“Who wants me?” Says a different Josuke dressed in a sailor’s attire, popping out from behind a door.

“We were talking to Crazy Diamond Josuke, sorry Soft and Wet,” A voice from behind says.

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be quiet while we’re recording Speedwagon?” Joseph says, as he releases Josuke from his grip.

“Oh- Right, sorry. I won’t do it again,” Says Speedwagon’s voice.

“Don’t apologize, we were bound to talk to you at some point, better now than never,” Giorno comments as he passes Jonathan, Crazy Diamond Josuke, and Joseph, joining Soft and Wet Josuke in the dressing room.

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag. Everyone, please welcome my close friend and cameraman, Speedwagon.” Jonathan says, approaching us.

“What are you doing?” Speedwagon whispers as Jonathan picks us up. “Ah- You don’t need to film me, it’s fine! You needed a cameraman for the show, and I figured out how to use a camera, there’s no need to get me on-. And I’m on camera.” Speedwagon nervously waves. “Uh, Hi. I’m, uhm, Robert E. O. Speedwagon. I’ll be filming…… Most of the scenes….. I’m no good in front of cameras, just give me this back.” Speedwagon grabs the camera, and the view shifts back to the Jojos. 

“Who would’ve thought, Speedwagon the hot-headed thug nervous on camera,” Jotaro says while he strolls next to Joseph and Josuke.

“I’m not nervous, I just get anxious,” Speedwagon retorts. “And look who’s talking, Jotaro I-Went-To-Jail Kujo.” Jotaro shrugs, as Jonathan glances quizingly at Jotaro.

“You went to jail?” Jonathan asks Jotaro.

“Not important now,” Jotaro replies.

Jolyne skids around a corner, almost falling. “I came as fast as I could, I got a text saying that we’re filming the first episode. Did it start?”

“Be careful,” Jotaro and Jonathan mutter, as Josuke responds with a nod.

“Wait, wasn’t the first episode me, Jotaro, and Jonathan?” Joseph says, as he approaches her to give her a high five.

“I thought it was everyone. It’s what Jona said in the meeting, something about introducing us to the new viewers or some crap like that.” Jolyne gladly accepts the high five.

“It was changed, since we didn’t want to overwhelm the audience,” Jonathan pipes up.

“Too late for that,” Jotaro muttered. 

“Why don’t we just do that? I mean, we already have, like, mostly everyone here. We can just bring Giorno, Johnny, and other me out, and just introduce ourselves and save whatever the original plan was for another day.” Josuke says, standing a little bit higher.

“Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad!” Joseph responds, as he heads to the dressing room.

“One problem, Johnny isn’t here. He has today off.” Jotaro says.

“I have today off?” Johnny enters the line of sight, being pushed by Gyro Zeppeli. “It’s Wednesday, last I checked you and and Joseph have today off.” Johnny craned his neck up to talk to his friend. “Thanks Gyro, you can leave now.”

“No problemo Johnny, see you later.” Gyro lets go of Johnny’s wheelchair handles and starts to leave.

“Hey wait Gyro! Tell Caesar I said hi!” Joseph shouts after him, as Jonathan follows with “Say hello to William for me.”

“It’s Thursday you dumbass, how did you even forget?” Jolyne says, as she walks over and grabs the wheelchair handles.

Johnny shoos her hands away. “I’m not useless you know. Just because I’m in a wheelchair doesn’t mean I can’t move myself,” Johnny rolls to the forming crowd. 

“I was just trying to be nice,” Jolyne mutters as she follows Johnny.

“Well this is great!” Jonathan clasp his hands together. “Since everyone’s here, we can do Josuke’s idea. Jotaro, could you tell Soft and Wet Josuke and Giorno to come out?”

“Why me?” Jotaro shoves his hand into his pockets, and retrieves a cigarette.

“Because you’re closer. Also don’t smoke inside, it isn’t healthy, and we’re not supposed to promote drug use on our show. Remember the contract?”

Jotaro grumbles, as he puts his cigarette back into his pocket. He walks over to the dressing room, and gives the door two hard knocks. “Hey, come out. We’re introducing ourselves now.” 

We can hear Soft and Wet Josuke’s muffled “What?” through the door, as Giorno swings open the door.

“I thought you were doing an episode with Father and Joseph?” Giorno asks.

“There’s been a change of plans, now get out,” Jotaro replies.

Giorno turns around, and shouts at Soft and Wet Josuke to get out as he steps out. Soft and Wet Josuke emerges a few seconds after Giorno, hastily putting his sailor cap on.

“Do I look okay?” Soft and Wet Josuke asks as he adjust his cap.

“You look fine. Just join the others.” Jotaro says as he joins everyone else. Soft and Wet Josuke follows, not really knowing what to do.

“So how are we going to arrange ourselves?” Joseph says.

“How about by age?” Jolyne suggests.

“What about height?” Crazy Diamond Josuke says. “We don’t really know other Josuke’s age.”

“I’m right here Josuke,” Soft and Wet Josuke says, as he bends down to tie his shoes.

“Why not do it by Parts?” Johnny muttered.

“That’s… Actually that’s a good idea, let’s do Johnnys!” Jolyne says.

“Okay, Johnny's it is! Quick question, what did Johnny say?” Jonathan says.

“Do it in the order of the Parts. Now we need somewhere to introduce ourselves that isn’t behind stage.” Jolyne replies.

“We could do it where the set is, if we move the desk,” Giorno suggests.

“Perfect! Joseph, come with me we can push the desk,” Jonathan says, as he walks over to the set, us following him.

“Are you sure about that? It took at least three guys to bring it in here,” Speedwagon ask, concern in his voice.

“Yes, I’m sure, thank you though.” Jonathan grunts, as he pushes the desk. After a few seconds, we hear the desk move a little bit.

“See?” Jonathan pants. “I got this.” 

“In about a year,” Jotaro says, next to us. “Crazy Diamond Josuke, come with me. Jolyne, use Stone free over there” Jotaro walks on the set, Star Platinum emerging from Jotaro’s body. Jotaro approaches Jonathan, and Star Platinum picks him up, and moves him away the desk.

“Hey!” Jonathan protests, as Crazy Diamond Josuke comes into view. Crazy Diamond Josuke walks to the other side of the desk, his stand hovering around him. Crazy Diamonds long and muscular arms grab one end of the table, while shouting “Dora!”. After Star Platinum places down Jonathan, he follows Crazy Diamonds movements, while shouting his battle cry “Ora!”. In unison, the two stands threw the desk off screen. After hearing a thud, there’s a twang.

“It’s fine, I got it!” Jolyne shouts.

“Well there goes that problem,” Jonathan mutters. “So, we’re doing this by Parts right? Should I just go, or wait for these two to leave or…?” 

“I don’t know, aren’t you the director Jonathan?” Speedwagon asks.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jonathan says to himself as Jotaro and Josuke leave the set. “Well, no better time like the present to start. Hello there everyone, my name is Jonathan Joestar, and I am in the first Part, Phantom Blood. If you didn’t hear Speedwagon, I’m also the director of the show. I’ve learned hamon from my friend WIlliam Antonio Zeppeli, and I enjoy eating chocolate. I hope you enjoy Jojosam the television show. Oh, before I forget, we have a podcast that you can listen to, so if you look up Jojosam, or J-o-j-o-a-m on wherever you get your podcast, we’ll be there.” With a quick wave, Jonathan exits the stage, and Joseph hops on.

“Hey there everybody, it’s your favorite person, Joseph Joestar!”

“That’s subjective,” Giorno says.

“And not true!” Crazy Diamond Josuke shouts.

“Shut up, it’s my turn to introduce myself, and if I want to introduce myself with ‘I’m the best’ I can and I will. ANYway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying that I’m Joseph Joestar, your hamon trained and future stand user co-host. I’m eighteen, and from Part 2, Battle Tendencies. I’ve been told from Jotaro that my future stand is named Hermit Purple, and it can make spirit photos, whatever that means. Watch this!” Joseph strikes another pose, not unlike the one he struck earlier. “This right here is a great and amazing pose that everyone should do, and send pictures of you doing this post to our website.” Joseph finger guns us, and jumps off the stage.

“Don’t send us pictures of you doing that pose, just send it to Joseph,” Jotaro says, as he steps on the stage. “Jotaro Kujo. Star Platinum. Part 3, Stardust Crusaders.” Jotaro starts to walk off.

“Wait, that’s it?!” Jolyne yells as Joseph strides over to Jotaro.

“Nope, you have to do more.” Joseph says as he pushes Jotaro back into the middle of the set. “Jonathan and I did at least a paragraph, you have to do the same.”

“Why? It’s not my fault I don’t have much to say.” Jotaro responds as he tries to wiggle out of Joseph’s grip.

“You literally said 3 things, say more.” Joseph says.

“I won’t go up if you don’t say more….” Crazy Diamond Josuke adds, trying to gather his wits before it’s his turn to introduce himself.

“Come on, just do it, it isn’t so bad.” Jonathan adds on.

“Yeah just do it!” Soft and Wet Josuke shouts as he starts to chant “Do it!” Jolyne quickly joins in, and everyone else follows suit besides Jonathan, Speedwagon, and Jotaro.

“Good grief, do I even have a choice?” Jotaro pulls his hat down.

“Doesn’t seem like it Jotaro!” Speedwagon shouts over the chanting.

“Alright, alright. Fine, I’ll say more.” Cheers can be heard from all around as Jotaro made his statement. “My name is Jotaro Kujo. I am a seventeen year old student who first appeared in Part 3, Stardust Crusaders. I am Joseph’s grandson. I own the stand Star Platinum, and its ability is to be extreme precise and be good in combat. Is that enough?” 

“No, do more!” Joseph shouts.

Jotaro rolls his eyes. “I am an aquarius, and my favorite movie is Never Cry Wolf. I am 195 centimeters.”

“Americans don’t know what that means!” Joseph yells, an American himself.

Jotaro rolls his eyes, and lets out a frustrated huff. “That’d be 6 feet 5 in American measurements. Happy? Good, that’s enough.” Jotaro summons his stand and hops off stage as Star Platinum stares down Joseph, ready to punch him if he comes close.

Crazy Diamond Josuke steps on stage, waving at the camera. “Uh, hey there everyone. I’m Josuke Higashikata, and I’m Jotaro’s uncle technically, even though I’m 16 and he’s…….. You know, older than me. I live in Japan, in the town called Morioh. I was saved by a mysterious man when I was four, and ever since then I had my stand, Crazy Diamond!” To emphasize this point, Crazy Diamond gets summoned from Josuke, awaiting its orders. “Besides being hella buff, this is it’s ability,” With a nod from its, Crazy Diamond thrust its fist into the nearest object, a chair. After smashing it, it gets surrounded in a colorful hue, and gets pulled together, mending itself. “I can fix anything. Chairs, wounds, you name it Crazy Diamond can fix it. But, there is a catch, I sadly can not fix my bank account or fix myself. I also can slightly alter what I’m fixing, but I don’t do that. Normally. Well, I don’t have much to add. Can I say I like prince without having it beeped out? Is that a maybe? Then I maybe like prince. Well, uhm, I’ll see you later!” With a wave from both Crazy Diamond and its user, the two get off the stage, Crazy Diamond settling into the user. 

Giorno swiftly gets on stage, just as Crazy Diamond Josuke steps off. “Hello, I am Giorno Giovanna, previously known as Haruno Shiobana, and I was born in 1985. I am the son of both Dio Brando and Jonathan Joestar, it’s complicated. I’m like this beca-” 

“Honestly, I’d rather not talk about that Giorno. Do you mind just skipping over specifics?” Jonathan asks. 

Giorno nods. “My stand’s name is Golden Experience. It can make life out of ordinary objects. For example, if Golden Experience were to attack the chair, it would-”

“Just show it’s ability, it’s easier!” Joseph shouts, while Giorno glances at him. 

“Fine, if you say so.” Giorn turns his attention to the chair that Crazy Diamond mended. With a sharp “Muda!”, Giorno punches the chair Crazy Diamond altered, a ghostly yellow arm shadowing Giorno's. The chair, surrounded by a aura, transforms into white bird and starts taking off. “This is Golden Experiences ability.” Giorno calls out Golden Experience, and it catches the recently made bird. It morphs back into a chair, and Golden Experience places it down, as Giorno steps off stage. Golden Experience disappears, fading into the background.

“Do you think I’ll be able to swing in?” Jolyne muttered, her hand slightly visible.

“Oh my god, yes, do it please,” Crazy Diamond Josuke said and Joseph agrees. Jotaro and Jonathan on the other hand, are very vocal with their distaste for Jolyne doing something that reckless. 

“Screw it, I’m doing it,” Jolyne says as her hand in frame unravels into string, and was launched to the ceiling.

Jotaro groans, while Jonathan shouts “No no no no no no no, Jolyne don’t-!”. Jolyne swoops in, her arm being made of string. She whoops at first, but starts yelling curses as she rams into the chairs, causing a few legs to snap. 

“Shit,” Jolyne groans, as she rest on her elbows. 

“You okay?” Crazy Diamond Josuke asked, as he walks to Jolyne, his stand hovering near her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know about Joseph's chair though, you should check that out.”

A muffled “Hey!” could be heard from behind, as Jolyne stands up.

“Well, hello everyone it’s ya girl Jolyne. I’m 19, I’ve been in jail, and [BEEP] is good.”

“Jolyne, we’re not allowed to say that on television,” Jonathan sighs.

“Wait, really? We can say ass, shit, and bitch, but not [BEEP]?”

“Yes, please stop saying that, we’re going to have to censor it.”

“Well sorry. Back to the topic at hand, I’m from Stone Ocean, also known as Part 6, and Pucci can go suck my dick. Oh yeah, Stone Free!” With that, string starts to collect and forms a blue humanoid with sunglasses. “This is my stand. She’s great, it can turn into string, cut off people's ears, I can hear shit with it, there’s so much I can do with her.” 

“Oh shoot, we forgot to say what Part Josuke and Giorno is from!” Speedwagon shouts from behind.

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Crazy Diamond Josuke mutters, as Giorno becomes visible.

“I’m Part 5, Golden Wind, and Crazy Diamond Josuke is from Part 4, Diamond is not crash.”

“It’s isn’t breakable, not crash!”

“That’s what I said.” Giorno walks off screen. 

“Well, I don’t have much else to add, can I hop off?” Jolyne looks in Jonathan’s general area. She smiles as she hops off stage, waving as she gets out of view. 

Johnny rolls over to the edge of the stagem and stops. “...... Where’s the ramp?” 

“Oh fuck the ramp,” Jolyne muttered. 

“Jolyne. What did you do?” Johnny hisses, narrowing his eyes.

“Okay, don’t be mad, but I might’ve borrowed it for something.” 

“What was more important than me getting onto that stage that you had to borrow it?” 

“I had to prove Soft and Wet Josuke that Stone Free could hold a ton.” 

“A ton of what?!” Johnny snaps.

“A metric ton.” Jolyne replies.

“She didn’t lie, I had to give her my shirt because of it,” Soft and Wet Josuke chimes in.

Johnny rubs his temples. “And why was my ramp needed for this?”

“I used it to get to the roof,” Jolyne mutters.

“Why would you- you know what, forget that I asked. Just help me get up.”

Jolyne walks over, slightly embarrassed and bitter, and unravels her arm. “Hey Jonathan, how much weight can those bars up there hold?”

“I’m not completely sure if I’m honest…” Jonathan respond.

Speedwagon pipes up. “I think it’s about, 120 kilograms, why do you ask?”

“Thanks Speedwagon, that should be enough for what I want to do.” Jolyne rears her unraveled arm back, and flings it up to the ceiling, nodding when it comes back down. “Johnny, I’m about to do something so don’t freak out.”

“What do you mean don’t freak out,” Johnny grumbles as Jolyne's threads wraps itself around Johnny's wheelchair. “You’re just going to pick up my wheelchaioh fuck fuck FUCK me, Jolyne I’m going to kill you!” Johnny shrieks as he’s lifted up from off the ground. 

“Calm down you baby, you’ve ridden horses before, right? This isn’t anything different. Now don’t squirm too much or I’ll drop you.”

“What do you mean this isn’t anything different, this is a completely different scenario! When I’m riding Slow Dancer I at least know they’re not going to drop me!!” 

“Aaaaaand there, didn’t drop you.” Jolyne softly places Johnny down, and her arm starts reforming.

“You could’ve,” Johnny muttered, as he rolls near the middle. “Hello, I’m Johnny. I’m a jockey that participated in the Steel Ball Run. Ironically, that’s my Parts name, Part 7. I’m paraplegic if you couldn’t tell, that much is obvious.”

“It wasn’t on the podcast. Remember the first meetup that we did with you?” Giorno asks. 

“How could I not? Everyone couldn’t stop gawking at my wheelchair.”

“That’s an exaggeration, people were just surprised.” Jotaro says. “It wasn’t as bad as when Giorno first went.”

“Oh yeah!” Joseph snaps his fingers. “I remember that! People kept on asking if his hair was dyed or not, and at some points people thought he was a fan.” 

“Do you even dye your hair Giorno? If you do, give me some tips I need to take better care of my hair,” Jolyne adds.

“I’ll never tell. Now back to Johnny.” Giorno gestures to the Jojo that’s on the stage.

“I’m basically done, that’s all I have. I have Tusks if you want to see them.” Johnny rest his hands on his wheels.

“That’d be a splendid idea Johnny, show us!” Jonathan says.

“Well guess I’m doing that then. I have 3 acts for Tusks,” Johnny raises his hand as a small pink creature hovers around it. “This is act 1. It makes my nails a projectile weapon. SInce I’m not completely sure on what I can or can not do, I won’t be demonstrating.” 

“Come on John, I can have Crazy Diamond heal ya. Besides, we can just cut it if we can’t air it.”

“My name isn’t John. Moving on to act 2.” Tusk ducks behind Johnny, and a taller, more mechanical version of tusk emerges, its jaw resembling something like a knights helmet. “That’s act 2, it’s just like act 1 but better.”

“Wow, rude,” Joseph half whispers half says.

“I’m not being rude Joseph, it’s literally what it is. It’s an upgrade of act 1. Is that enough information?”

“I think that’s enough, we might be running short on time though. Is that right Speedwagon?” Jonathan asks, as he turns to the camera. “Okay, that’s right. Thank you Speedwagon.”

“Good.” Johnny starts wheeling to the edge, as Jolyne meets him at the edge of the set.

“Wait, what about act 3? You said there were 3 acts.” Soft and Wet Josuke blurts out. 

“He did say that.” Joseph adds. “Besides, if I had 3 stands, I’d be showing them off all the time!”

Johnny sighs. “Do I have to?”

“Well, you don’t need to…” Jonathan says.

“But you must.” Giorno finishes. 

“And why should I, Giorno?” 

“I assume you wouldn’t like it if your wheelchair suddenly turns into a tree?”

“Just do it,” Jotaro says. “It’s not hard.”

“Uuuuuuuuuuuugh, fine. Here’s act 3.” Johnny says as a pink humanoid appears momentarily. “It can make holes I can go in, now can I go?”

“That’s what she said,” Joseph says as he gets a glare from Jonathan. “What? He practically walked into that!” Johnny rolls his eyes, as he waits for Jolyne to get him off the stage.

As Johnny was being hauled off the stage, Soft and Wet Josuke says “Oh wait, it’s my turn now.”

“Did it seriously take you that long to figure out?” The other Josuke ask.

“I’d thought it’d take a week to get to me,” Soft and Wet replied, as he hops on stage. “Well, hello everyone! My name’s Josuke, but since there’s another Josuke, I’m called Soft and Wet Josuke since that’s my stand.”

“Wait, what happened to Gappy? I thought everyone called you that. Y’know, because of your teeth.” Jolyne says, right as she places Johnny down.

“I thought it was 2suke,” Speedwagon muttered behind us.

“Wasn’t it Part 8? We called you that at one point.” Johnny says, as he rolls off screen.

“And all of them are good names. I just prefer Soft and Wet. Anyway, I lost my memory, turns out I’m two guys combined into one person. Oh right ! Yasuho and the Higashikata family are watching! Hi!” He starts waving at the camera. 

“Oh god, I can hear Joshuu complaining about how unfair this is,” Johnny mutters. 

“Anyway my stand! It’s called Soft and Wet.” A white humanoid with a anchor on its chest appears. “It has the ability to make bubbles and take something from any object. For example, let me show you.” A flurry of bubbles appear, all bearing a star on it, gets sent to the camera. Suddenly, the camera is in Soft and Wets hands, the lens pointing at Speedwagon and everyone else. “Holy shit, that worked! I didn’t expect Soft and Wet to be able to take something this big,” Soft and Wet Josuke says as Speedwagon stares at his hands in amazement. 

“M…..My camera…..” Speedwagon says in defeat.

“How long do we have left until we have to end this?” Jotaro ask. 

Speedwagon checks his watch “Uuhhhh, half a minute?” Half of the group whisper curses under their breath.

“Okay, uhm, lets do something quick before we cut to credits!” Soft and Wet Josuke says, shifting the camera in his hand.

“Like what?” Jonathan asks.

“Uhh, posing? Yeah, do a pose everyone!” Soft and Wet Josuke says as he gestures everyone to come closer together.

“Oh, that’s the one thing I’m not good at,” Speedwagon said, as he shuffles out of the frame. 

“Say cheese everyone!” Soft and Wet Josuke aims the camera at his relatives. 

Jonathan brings his right hand to his face, fanning out his fingers while his left hand is trusted to the empty space next to him. His stance is wide, his legs as far as he dares.

Joseph raises his arms over his head, framing his head with his forearms while they rest near his forehead. His right leg is slightly bent, his toes lightly touching the ground. 

Jotaros left hand is tucked into his pant pocket. His right arm though is parallel to the camera. His right pointer finger is pointing straight at the camera, while the rest of his fingers are clenched tightly together.

Josuke has his left leg closer to the camera than his right, his foot facing the camera. His head is slightly cocked to the side, the dorsal side of his left hand curved to follow his right cheek. His left arm is bent, the forearm being parallel to his hand. His right hand is next to his face, his elbow leveled with his eyes.

Giorno has his right fist to his chest, pulling at his heart shaped hole on his shirt. His other hand is tugging at the hem of his shirt. His feet are far apart, but just close enough for Giorno to keep his balance. His right leg is bent inwards while his hip is slightly thrusted to the side. 

Jolyne has her right leg bent, her foot behind her other. Her left hand is resting on the right side of her hip. Her right elbow is on her wrist, her right hand close to her face. Her pointer finger is pressed against her cheek, while her thumb rest underneath her chin. Her head is cocked to the side, staring straight at the camera.

Johnny pushed himself off of his wheelchair, landing onto his knees. He slightly leans back, somehow balancing on his legs. His right hand is straight, positioned diagonally from his face. His fingers are relaxed, while his pointer is outstretched to the camera. His left hand is raised to his chest. His head is tilted up, similar to how Jolynes face is positioned.

Everyone holds the pose for a few seconds, then they relax. Joseph stretches, unaware he’s putting his fist in Jotaros face. Jotaro shoves it out the way, while Johnny slumps to the ground. Giorno smiles as Josuke Crazy Diamond exchanges a high five with Jolyne. Jonathan nods to Josuke Soft and Wet. “Well then Gappy, was that good?” Jonathan asks.

“Yep, all good!” Josuke Soft and Wet gives the group a thumbs up, as the camera tetters in his grasp.

“Okay give me my camera back, that’s expensive.” Speedwagon grabs the camera out of Josuke Soft and Wets hands.

“I shouldn’t have done that, now I can’t get up.” Johnny mutters. 

“You should’ve done an easier pose then.” Jotaro responds as he heads over to Johnny.

“That’s easy for you to say, all you do is point. I have to get out of my wheelchair to pose, do you know how hard it is to get back on?” Johnny complains.

“Not hard enough for you to stop doing that pose.” Jotaro picks up Johnny and plops him back onto his seat.

“How much longer do we have until we have to end the episode Mr. Speedwagon?” Giorno asks.

“Uhh, 10 seconds.” 

“Quick Gappy you have to pose!” Jolyne shouts as she points to him. The camera swings to Josuke Soft and Wet, as he stands there.

“Wait what?” Josuke Soft and Wet glances around. “I thought we didn’t have time?”

“Just do it!” Joseph says.

After a beat, he decides to dab. He holds the pose as laughter starts to bubble up from the companions around him. The to be continued arrow shows up, pointing to the side of the screen, and the credits start pulling up.

**Author's Note:**

> The bit about Gappy dabbing was because I didn't know what specifically is Gappy's pose. I had so many other ideas that I couldn't fit (like Koichi being the sound mixer, Okuyasu being the main editor and adding small comments, William Zeppeli being the Davenport of this world, Erina as a producer and dropping into the set constantly, and so much more) and I was planning on having yahoo asks as questions from the main antagonists but as stated, I dropped this as a series. I hope you liked this more than I did writing it!


End file.
